I am fully aware that women need to celebrate the milestones in their lives. And I am also aware that I may sound like an episode of Sex and the City circa 2001. But I really don't understand why I have to sit through the same old crap at every baby shower I go to (please note this also includes bridal showers and even bachelorette parties). I mean with all the technology, news at our finger tips, blogs filled with ideas from all over the world. I have to look at a melted candy bar in a diaper and tell you what I think it is. I would rather that you just give me the (non melted) candy bar and let me watch Psych on my iPod while the rest of you try not to say the word "baby". There I said it now take my clothespin so I can have an adult conversation.
Don't get me wrong, I love babies, a lot. No, I do not currently own any of my own and the verdict is still out on wether or not I will in the future. (yes, I am fully aware I am 35 and I hear the ticking, but I like to drowned it out with some Blue Eyed Soul from England). But even when I start to think that procreating is a good idea I have a friend get pregnant and suck all of the magic out of having some little alien life form feeding off of you and making you fat (ter than you already are) and making it impossible to sit through an entire episode of Mad Men without peeing 28 times. So don't give me the "babies are blessing from God" look. Because, so are husbands, and God seems to be dragging his feet on that one too, but I digress. :)
So really, all I am saying is that I would love to go to your baby/bridal/some other thing I have yet to do shower. But can you please be creative. Can we laugh about stupid baby stories we have hear before, look at old pictures, laugh about how we cannot believe that God would intrust this person with a little life. I mean as we get older and busier the times friends get together in the same room is few and far between. So can we take advantage of this time. I am sure that being pregnant does not suck out all of the fun you used to be in your pre-gestational life time, right out of your body when the sperm hits the egg. I know you can't "drop it like it's hot" at 8 months. But I don't want to guess what baby food is housed in the unlabeled jar being shoved in my face, and all the other cute little games your best buddy at your job designed to make your sarcastic friend that you have had for years, have to choke down vomit to show how much she loves you.
here are my ideas for a baby shower (if I do head down the mommy road):
juice shooters - you don't need alcohol to laugh after flinging your head back and drinking something quickly. The actual physical motion causes the laughter, not the alcohol.
pin the umbilical cord on the baby - who wouldn't want to see their friends waving around a pink coil of construction paper while donning a sleep mask. It is only fair, since they would have watched my trying to navigate with a huge belly for the past few moths.
make your own ____________ - I am saying I will be pregnant, and hungry. Heck I am always hungry now and there are no additional life form floating around in my body. So make the eating fun. it can be tacos, cupcakes, you name it. But it just gives you a chance to eat and laugh with good friends.
Maybe my shower sounds boring to you, that's cool, stay home. But shouldn't it be about old and new friends getting together and laughing, sharing stories and giving advice? That is what I would want. And if I was one of those lucky few who have no struggles during their pregnancy, I am all about the dancing and singing at my shower.
Well, I have to wrap this up. I am actually heading to a shower in a few minutes. (really). So we shall SEE.
- The Big Eyed Girl
- I am well into my 30s and realize that I see the world differently than most of the people in my life. My views and beliefs are eclectically infused by my multi-racial background, love of the triune, over active brain, dual handedness and open mind to way too many things.